I remember the way the embarrassment that tingled my cheeks the first time someone saw me Number Naked.
I was on the Big Island of Hawaii in the year 2007, sitting in a beautiful Bali hut type house, when my friends started talking about their Enneagram types.
Their Enneagram Numbers. It’s a thing.
Anyhoo – They had me take this little quiz thing to determine my “Enneagram type”.
Well, it was a short quiz on the internet. And I guess I kinda cheated on it.
Cause I said, “Well, I must be a 7, just like my boyfriend.” And they looked askance at each other and giggled at me.
“If you need your number to be the same as your boyfriend, I think perhaps you might be a 2,” said one of the really enlightened friends that I totally admired. My cheeks tingled.
And then they laughed out loud – cause they KNEW me.
Oh. Um, OK.
“Sorry,” my friend said, “I’m not really supposed to just TELL you what type you are, but it is so freakin obvious, Mellissa.”
So I looked at the description of the Type 2 on the Enneagram,
and I was surprised, horrified, and found myself stark NAKED in the room.
I was horrified at the Type 2 description because… It sounded just like my MOTHER.
It described all the things that bugged me about my mom. Stuff that triggered me. Angered me. Stuff I judged.
And then I started to sob, all Number Naked like I was, because I knew that was ME. Me too. I’m a two.
Now let me get Number Naked for you… right here… right now… are you ready?
I tend towards giving too much – more than anyone actually asked for or wanted – and then feeling resentful after because they didn’t appreciate my over-giving servility.
I tend to charm people so they like me. And if they don’t like me, I feel panicky and will use all my powers of manipulation and persuasion to convince them I’m whatever they need me to be to love me.
I must be appreciated and admired and adored – but I won’t ask for what I need. You have to guess.
Dude. I’m SO a Two.
OK, yes the Two has lots of GOOD stuff too – just like every type does – we are great hosts, caretakers, pleasure-givers. We are charming, loving, and generous. We are show-er-up-ers. We help you move. We nurture.
And of course ALL of the Enneagram types have their goods and their bads.
Now, if you work with PEOPLE – like especially if you’re a therapist or a coach or a salesperson of anything… if you need to understand people in order to do well in the world…
Understanding the Enneagram opens up a WORLD of ease, understanding, and great business relationships.
It gives you peace.
Suddenly, EVERYone makes sense – not just the people who have your Naked Number!!!
When my friend Ben Saltzman, the Enneagram Expert of the West Coast and one of my FAVORITE people invited me to come and be a “panelist” at his 5-Day Enneagram training, I said (gulp) “Yes.”
In fact, a bunch of thought leaders, expert speakers, and creative professionals will be sitting naked up there with me – all so that the participants of this 5-days can see our dirtiest little secrets, and our deepest cheek-tingling embarrassing stories, and our pain and our glory.
And we semi-famousy folks are doing this because we WANT to be revealed, to be busted, and to be educated. We are there for the transformation. And we TRUST Ben Saltzman and the space he holds.
I have friends who have attended this same event in the past. And they all said it was a LIFE changer.
Some past participants weren’t even counselors or coaches. They just went for the sake of their relationships – ALL their relationships – and ended up counting it as a life-changing event for them.
And they nodded their heads the whole dang time.
They said that I should be prepared to FINALLY understand my parents, my past relationships, and even my kids. It opens all that up.
They said I’ll be a way better business person – serving my clients, and also selling my services to people according to their E type.
So I’m excited.
And I’m nervous.
And I know it’s time.
Wanna get Number Naked with me?
You will NEVER regret it – and your relationships will flourish, as will your self-love.