Your 7 Initiations of Power – Which do you have? Which do you need?

Life has a rhythm.  Nature beats in this rhythm.  Our hearts and nervous systems beat to this rhythm.  Our deeper brain states – the states of relaxation and visioning – beat to this rhythm.

Modern techno-life does not beat to this rhythm.  It beats faster. It’s exciting and stimulating and can be super mentally creative and driven.  It’s wonderfully new, and it’s advancing us fast in some ways. But it doesn’t beat to the natural primal drum of Power.

So how can we have the best of both worlds?

What if we tap the rhythm and order of Nature, of Depth, of Life, and we use the techno-tools of modern life, as well as a return to Nature herself, to access them, even to seemingly go back in time to reclaim what we personally have lost?

That has been the crux of my deeper work with leaders in this world – leaders who want to go deeper, to go back in time, in an accelerated more easeful way, and reclaim the healing and power they may have missed.  

Our goal has been to re-create, heal, and harvest the power from Life’s 7 Initiations of Power, even in a modern world.

You see, at every developmental passage, there is a natural Initiation Series of 7 Life Passages that we all walk through, whether in a strengthening way, or in a wounding way.  And while being “wounded” is not bad – it’s what makes us strong and wise in some ways – most of us would choose to eventually heal that wounding, to claim the wisdom gained, and to re-claim the original power we missed out on before.

*NOTE: Every wisdom tradition identifies different moments and “life passages.”  This system is my own – drawn I’m sure from everything I’ve ever read and experienced. It is particularly influenced with my work with Maria Yraceburu, of the Tlish Diyan tradition, who encouraged me to adapt and share my own work in this.   I do NOT claim it as traditional, or ancient, or perfect. It is just another system of archetypes – one that has worked for me. I have used these particular 7 Initiations with my clients with good effects in this modern world.

The 7 Initiations

#1. Birth – Honoring the Arrival, claiming Security.

I take this personally. So here is a picture of the birth of my daughter!

Do you feel completely secure, no matter where you are, who you’re with?

Ideally, when a child is born, it arrives into a family and environment of total safety, like a cuddly hug full of warm milk, unconditional love, and celebration.  And at this time, the baby KNOWS s/he is safe, welcome and secure. And to the subconscious, this means not just “welcome in the family” but also “welcome on the earth!”

Most of us, however did not receive this initiation in this way.  Our parents were likely stressed. The people in the room where we were born were likely rushed, stressed, in go-go mode.  The environment didn’t likely smell or feel cuddly. And once here, that stress likely continued in the environment and in our bodies for the first year, on and off, just from living in this modern world.

In many cases, this leaves us growing up never totally feeling we are “welcome.”

And missing out on this initial landing, for some, ends up seeding an ongoing underlying nervousness, or distancing, or just a longing to somehow “take my toys and go back home” as if this planet is not really “home.”

Here’s what clients have said after going back through this Initiation:

“I’ve never really felt like I belonged here – or anywhere I guess – until I let this part go.  I didn’t realize it was something I could even release. I really do feel re-born.” – JT

“I feel completely different.  I didn’t realize I’d been trying to do life without a proper foundation.  Now it’s obvious because I can feel the stability I never had. Mellissa, you know I’d never done anything like this before, but this seriously changed my life.” – NW

#2 – 7 Years Old – Honoring the Thinker, claiming Discernment

Do you feel confident to speak your mind, make your own choices, and hold your own peacefully in argument with ANYone?

People speak of age 7 as the time-frame when kids learn to use their reason, to decide for themselves.  Ideally, at this age, the child is given many opportunities to think for him/herself, and to choose his/her own way of doing things.  

Most of us, however, were subject either to a lot of “rules” that may have felt constricting, or to a world where no one really noticed or affirmed our choices, our different way of thinking, or our boundaries that sprang from individual discernment of what we did or did not want.  

In many cases, if we did not receive this Initiation fully, we grow up feeling we need to let others choose for us.  We might imagine ourselves less intelligent, less capable, less smart about things. We may feel defensive, as if the world is always arguing with us, even when it’s not.

One client of mine had a pattern of always deferring to what her boyfriend wanted. This was a woman who was a bad-ass in her work, a leader in her community, but inside of her closest relationship, she had a pattern of always deferring to him.  And it drove both of them a little nuts. As part of her reclaiming in this initiation, I guided her through a practice that revealed the pattern as it was implanted around her own 7-year-old history by the way her parents were interacting. Now, she had been “looking” at this for years in therapy.  But by entering Initiation space with me, we called in the big power she had to reclaim from that passage, and she was able to easily re-claim the POWER that had been stuck there, so that not only did she UNDERSTAND the pattern, but she felt herself FREE from the old pattern once and for all. That was 6 months ago.  She is still free of it. And her relationship transformed for the better because of that work.

#3 – 12-14 Years Old – Honoring Sexual Power, claiming Sovereignty

And here is my daughter, Clarise, again – in high school.

Do you move pleasure through your body with glee, unabashedly radiating your beauty and power as an inspired individual who creates what s/he wants with enthusiasm and right action?

The early teenaged years are famously tumultuous, right? Puberty is recognized in our modern culture as a “problematic” time.  Why? Because sexual power has been framed in this culture as dangerous, disruptive, and scary. Sad.

Ideally, when we come into our sexual power, we should be educated openly, encouraged towards integrity, and forgiven often when “playing with fire” burns a bit.  Our sexual energy is a potent force for creation – with the power to literally create new life. Yet modern cultures see this is as a life passage to “get through,” and “hope for the best” while demonizing the very elemental forces that make us potent co-creators with spirit.

I’m sad to say it is extremely rare to find someone in modern culture who has received the full power from this initiation.  Most of us did not. And so we walk with shame, we play small, and we hide our full power as creatives, as unique beauties, as sexual beings.  This holds us back in relationship, in money, and in right use of power. It fuels an epidemic of dishonorable judgmental prejudice, hate, and desecration of our most sacred gifts.

But good news – we can reclaim this power.  And I have seen it hundreds of times in my 20 years of practice helping people – mostly women – reclaim their creative gifts, their magnetism, and the power of their pleasure in integrity.

I’ve seen women who were masquerading as frumpy-feeling engineers transform into glowing radiant beauties who bridge technology with feminine mystique.  I’ve seen brilliant professional women, crippled by bouts of trembling anxiety relax into wide-eyed exuberant joyful mamas bursting with new ideas to help save oceans and forests.  I’ve seen women who identified as “sexual abuse victims” walk back through this reclaiming and transform into relaxed (and multi-orgasmic) happy lovers to their devoted partners.

(Yes, this is a potent transformation, and it’s why part of my private practice as a teacher and wise-advisor has always included the development of what I call Carnal Genius.)

So you get the idea… of how these initiations affect ALL of us… whether we really RECEIVED them or not!

So I’m going to go through the last 4 initiations a little quicker, but never fear – I’ll be sharing more info with you.  To make sure you’re on my email list to get the info, go take the quiz –

#4 – Age 21  – Honoring Identity, claiming Purpose

Do you have a confident Knowing of your unique gifts, talents, and your life purpose?

Around age 21, we begin to know who we ARE as adults, as participants in our community.  This is the time when we are recognized by the community as a fully formed adult, one who can play a part in the whole.  The community acknowledges our gifts, our uniqueness, and our usefulness. The community NOTICES us, and asks us to step up in the right area of leadership or purpose.  We feel needed, utilized, and uniquely honored.

But if we are not honored appropriately, we enter a time of deep confusion.  What am I here for? Where should I be going? What should I be doing? And to bide our time, we party hard, sleep around, and generally kill time until we “figure it all out.”  This is not ideal.

When this Initiation is reclaimed, a person gets to finally understand their GIFTS, their unique talents and the way they need to structure their life in order to live a fulfilled and successful life.  

Much of my work is helping adults reclaim the power of this Life Passage.

My Soul Gift Quiz ( is the first step along this particular journey, which over 10,000 people all around the world have now undertaken with me.

It allows you to work with your Gifts, and not against them.

And when I work with clients individually, reflecting and clarifying their unique intrinsic gifts, I often get to witness them LIGHT up with the realization, radiate joy with the clear words they’ve been waiting for, and often cry happy tears that slide from their eyes as they feel the overwhelming gratitude of being SEEN where they had never felt seen before.

#5 – Age 28 – Honoring Service, claiming Role

Are you sure you’re playing your perfect-fit role in terms of career, work, and joyful service in the world?

The next initiation happens around the time of the “Saturn return” that the astrologer people tell us about.  This is the Life Passage that clarifies what we are here for. When the initiation is held with consciousness in community, the person is honored for the SERVICE they naturally do for their people.  It’s one thing to be Gifted… and it’s another to learn how to give your Gift so that it SERVES others. This is the initiation of Joyful Service – of right-fit work – of claiming your Right Role in the world.

When you didn’t get this initiation, you don’t really know what you’re here for.  You are not playing the role you were designed for. You don’t find satisfaction in your work.

You go along with the program, taking whatever job is handed you, or whatever role you were trained to take, and never quite feeling satisfied in your work life.  

I help a lot of people with this initiation individually as well, in my business programs.  This is the one where people say “I want to start my own business” and “I need to choose a marketable niche” and “I can’t go another day doing what I’m doing – and I want a workable strategy to do what my soul came here to do!”  

But my very-successful high-level leaders also need this many times.  I’ve worked with people who have created business worth sometimes hundreds of millions of dollars (and even multi-billions) – who are still unsure they are playing the Right Role!  

It is an act of great bravery to be willing to take a look at what you are REALLY here to do.

Because yes, sometimes it does mean change.

But more likely, it is no surprise.

It’s just something you need to tweak – to adjust – to re-focus.

And then when you do settle into your Right Role – everything gets EASIER, as if the miracle gates open to support you in your soul-directed work.  Because, frankly, they DO!

#6 – Age 49 – Honoring Experience, claiming Wisdom

Do others acknowledge you as their teacher, their cherished advisor, and/or as one of the most relaxed peaceful accepting and loving sages they’ve met?

The mid-life crisis is no joke.  But mid-life is not a dysfunctional period, nor a health challenge to be managed, nor an end to being relevant or useful in the world.  No. It is the spiritual maturation period of a human. It’s your graduation into maturity, wisdom, and righteous role as a guide, teacher, and truth-speaker.

When done right, this Life Passage is supported and celebrated.  Yes, “youth” and its follies are released and grieved. But “age” and its gifts are welcomed and celebrated.  It is a time of deeper communion with the Invisible Teams. It is a time of stepping up to leadership, be it quiet or broadcasted.  It is a time of slowing into a deeper wellspring of power, connection, and impact.

To many indigenous wisdom traditions, the Council of Grandmothers is the highest authority of wisdom.  In this culture, old ladies are routinely medicated, numbed, and ignored. This tells you where we’re at with this how we’ve been mis-handling this initiation!

If you’ve ever had the honor to meet a woman (or man) who has passed through this initiation with consciousness, I bet they made an impression on you.  Potent. Wise. Dignified. A quiet embodied presence strength that you could feel tingle up your spine.

Again I’d like to point out that it’s NEVER too late to claim this initiation.

And working with Maria Yraceburu in her indigenous Tlish Diyan ritual tradition, I was also shown it is never too EARLY to be initiated into the later initiations!  “Hey, Kiddo,” she’d say, “check out quantum physics! They figured out what my people have known for a long time. Time is a spiral. There’s no such thing as “time” as we know it.”   

What does this mean to you? If you’re not yet 49, you can still walk through this initiation “early” so that when you do grow into that age, you are READY to claim the mantle of power that your body and soul have in store for you.

#7 – Ageless – Honoring Death, claiming Legacy

Do you live without fear getting in your way?

Of course Death is our final Life Passage.  And our modern culture doesn’t do much with Death except to fear it, try in vain to avoid it, and ignore it the rest of the time.  

I learned about Death with Maria, when she walked me through her culture’s Night of Fear ceremony.  (Yes I am sharing of her with permission.) And I can tell you from my own experience that facing Death through ritual is a powerful choice.  There are ritual ways to vision your own death passage, ways to experience the footprint you would leave when you go. There are ways to invoke the peace of hopefulness and continuing spirit presence, without having to dive into religious dogmatism.  These are old mysteries, of course. I’m sure we humans have been thinking primarily about death for all time.

And yes, I have held this space for others to harvest the power of coming to peace with their own death many times.  And no, you don’t have to wait till you’re facing some diagnosis or the end of your life to reap the benefits of this Life Passage.  Yes, it is a mystery. But no, the path is not unknown nor unknowable. Yes, while it can be intimidating, it can also be an exquisite path of surrender into the ecstasy of letting go of control.


Hm… I need to stop there.  But I’m happy I had the chance to give you a glimpse and overview of the 7 Initiations.

It’s a lot to talk about.  More than I can tell you here.

But I will be sending out some emails in upcoming weeks (it’s June 2019 right now) teaching you more about the 7 Initiations, in the hopes that you might join me in walking through them if I’m  the right choice for you in this… or in the hopes to give you enough info this way that you will initiate your own journey through these Life Passages to reclaim your power. Because you are indeed powerful, intrinsically naturally so.

Thanks for joining me here,


P.S. If you are sitting there thinking… WOW I want more of this.  I have an opportunity for you. Due to popular interest and demand in learning more and healing from these initiations I’m leading a no-cost Masterclass and experiential healing on Saturday, June 29, at noon PST. And you can register here – it’s my gift to you.

P.P.S. I’m also going to host a small group at my home retreat space in the cedar forest, here in Nevada City, California, kinda close to Sacramento and Reno.  I will guide you through the swiftest version I know to release blocks and claim energy back related to the the first 5 Initiations, utilizing simple and relaxing guided exercises that will leave you feeling lighter, clearer, and more enthused.   I will do this over a weekend in August 2019. It will be fun, relaxed, but also intensive. If you want to get on the priority wait list for this, please email me at mellissa (at)