“Choke back those tears,” she said.
I was seven years old, and I’d been drawing a beautiful mural on the wall of my bedroom. With crayon. I was ecstatic with my work of art.
As a child who was always supported to be artistic, it didn’t occur to me that my mom would not want my crayon masterpiece all over the wall. But when she walked into my room, her whole body went rigid and she yelled at me, as she started to do that panic-y breath thing we all do when we are afraid or overwhelmed. “What have you DONE!? Your father will be home any minute?” Her voice went up high in pitch like a squeal at the end of her sentence.
And little 6 year old me – I was standing there shocked into silence, because I hadn’t seen this one coming! And then the cries of anguish escaped my lips… I was wailing – my shock, my horror, my shame, my confusion – it was all wailing through me.
And then we both heard it – the automatic garage door going up. Dad was home. Home from a long day at work as a district attorney. And the one thing he really needed when he got home was some quiet time to arrive and relax. Mom looked at me with wild open eyes, and a tight set jaw.
“You stop crying right NOW,” she said. “You have nothing to cry about. I’m going to have to clean this up. This is the last thing I need right now. Your dad is coming in here, and he is not going to like this. So you suck up those tears right now. Stop it. Stop.”
“Choke back those tears. Choke them back.”
And I remember the feeling of “choking” back tears. I shut my throat hard. I set my own jaw in tension, like hers. And I pouted. Lower lip out. Eyes downcast. I collapsed on my bed in a small heap, feeling very sad.
My throat burned.
I heard dad come through the front door and drop his keys on the side table. I heard his briefcase drop on the floor. I heard him greet my mom. I heard her weeping to him that she’s just had a hard time with me. He comforted her, and then they were in the kitchen, bustling around.
No one came for me right away. But I stayed quiet. And eventually, I was summoned to my dad, and he gave me “the talk.” He explained why I couldn’t draw on the walls. He explained why mom was upset. He told me all the consequences of my actions. He honestly did a great job of explaining. And I stayed quiet, sullen, and downcast. I kept pouting. And my throat kept burning.
I can still feel the burn in my throat from times like these.
And I know that they are pretty “normal” among all of us.
And these lessons are important useful lessons – how to behave and all.
But this week’s Genius Experiment, and the experiments coming up over the next few weeks, offer the best tools I know to open the throat for full expression again.
Because these old ouches are still stuck in the throat of all of us.
Yet there are simple ways to clear them out, to release the tension, and to reclaim the power of your voice.
In just one minute, you can gently massage your throat in a way that releases a lot of old tension that you don’t even realize is there!
Speaker? You Need a Quiz.
If you’re a SPEAKER – that is if you’re a coach or teacher or thought leader who appears on radio shows, podcasts, Facebook Lives, and stages big and small – your own events or someone else’s…
You need to make a QUIZ.
Oh yes.
A Quiz is what you need…
Here’s why.
People might be rapt and interested when they’re listening to you. But you won’t have ongoing connection with them unless they OPT IN for something. And these days, people are tired of the old “opt-in to get this free blueprint/notes/map/video/e-book” thingie. We are overwhelmed. We are inundated with dang emails. We don’t want any more thingies. We want experiences. We want contact.
HOWEVER… if during your talk, you engage the audience with a short quiz – the kind of fun picture based quiz that they can do in 2 minutes DURING your talk as part of the experience of your talk… not only do you get way MORE opt-ins. You also get people who are interested in you. And if the quiz itself has one or two “secret” questions that determine whether this person is a perfect fit to work more with you… well, then you’ve also got an effortless list of ideal clients.
And if the quiz has a follow-up survey for those ideal-seeming clients only, now you’ve got a funnel that automatically identifies, connects with, and educates your perfect clients towards a sale – before you’ve even had to spend one minute with them. Now THOSE are the peeps you want to hop on the phone with!
Yay! A smart quiz funnel that attracts, identifies and engages your perfect clients! BOOM!
- No more cajoling audiences to PLEASE opt-in from your talk – they will all WANT to take your fun quiz.
- No more boring consult calls with people who are obviously not your ideal clients.
- No more saying the same dang things over and over to individuals in useless consult calls.
A strategically designed quiz funnel can do the work for you.
Here’s a free training that teaches you how:
And if you want me to design your quiz for/with you, and you are ready to invest a couple thousand bucks into creating a system that will feed you with clients for the rest of your career,
Number Naked
I remember the way the embarrassment that tingled my cheeks the first time someone saw me Number Naked.
I was on the Big Island of Hawaii in the year 2007, sitting in a beautiful Bali hut type house, when my friends started talking about their Enneagram types.
Their what?
Their Enneagram Numbers. It’s a thing.
Anyhoo – They had me take this little quiz thing to determine my “Enneagram type”.
Well, it was a short quiz on the internet. And I guess I kinda cheated on it.
Cause I said, “Well, I must be a 7, just like my boyfriend.” And they looked askance at each other and giggled at me.
“If you need your number to be the same as your boyfriend, I think perhaps you might be a 2,” said one of the really enlightened friends that I totally admired. My cheeks tingled.
And then they laughed out loud – cause they KNEW me.
Oh. Um, OK.
“Sorry,” my friend said, “I’m not really supposed to just TELL you what type you are, but it is so freakin obvious, Mellissa.”
So I looked at the description of the Type 2 on the Enneagram,
and I was surprised, horrified, and found myself stark NAKED in the room.
I was horrified at the Type 2 description because… It sounded just like my MOTHER.
It described all the things that bugged me about my mom. Stuff that triggered me. Angered me. Stuff I judged.
And then I started to sob, all Number Naked like I was, because I knew that was ME. Me too. I’m a two.
Now let me get Number Naked for you… right here… right now… are you ready?
I tend towards giving too much – more than anyone actually asked for or wanted – and then feeling resentful after because they didn’t appreciate my over-giving servility.
I tend to charm people so they like me. And if they don’t like me, I feel panicky and will use all my powers of manipulation and persuasion to convince them I’m whatever they need me to be to love me.
I must be appreciated and admired and adored – but I won’t ask for what I need. You have to guess.
Dude. I’m SO a Two.
OK, yes the Two has lots of GOOD stuff too – just like every type does – we are great hosts, caretakers, pleasure-givers. We are charming, loving, and generous. We are show-er-up-ers. We help you move. We nurture.
And of course ALL of the Enneagram types have their goods and their bads.
Now, if you work with PEOPLE – like especially if you’re a therapist or a coach or a salesperson of anything… if you need to understand people in order to do well in the world…
Understanding the Enneagram opens up a WORLD of ease, understanding, and great business relationships.
It gives you peace.
Suddenly, EVERYone makes sense – not just the people who have your Naked Number!!!
So.
When my friend Ben Saltzman, the Enneagram Expert of the West Coast and one of my FAVORITE people invited me to come and be a “panelist” at his 5-Day Enneagram training, I said (gulp) “Yes.”
I will be Number Naked at this event for 5 days.
In fact, a bunch of thought leaders, expert speakers, and creative professionals will be sitting naked up there with me – all so that the participants of this 5-days can see our dirtiest little secrets, and our deepest cheek-tingling embarrassing stories, and our pain and our glory.
And we semi-famousy folks are doing this because we WANT to be revealed, to be busted, and to be educated. We are there for the transformation. And we TRUST Ben Saltzman and the space he holds.
I have friends who have attended this same event in the past. And they all said it was a LIFE changer.
Some past participants weren’t even counselors or coaches. They just went for the sake of their relationships – ALL their relationships – and ended up counting it as a life-changing event for them.
They laughed.
They cried.
And they nodded their heads the whole dang time.
They said that I should be prepared to FINALLY understand my parents, my past relationships, and even my kids. It opens all that up.
They said I’ll be a way better business person – serving my clients, and also selling my services to people according to their E type.
So I’m excited.
And I’m nervous.
And I know it’s time.
Wanna get Number Naked with me?
You will NEVER regret it – and your relationships will flourish, as will your self-love.
James and the Invisible Butler
Did you know that you’ve got an Invisible Butler who is standing by, ready to protect the front door for you, ready to direct the rest of your team to serve you, and who is just WAITING for you to give permission for huge help, support, and resources to flow your way?
True Story.
I was living at Harbin Hot Springs, in my little hut by the creek, giving sessions in the garden, and basically living a life of spiritual retreat and deep healing. This was right after my big “awakening” that turned me from Stanford educated lawyer to… what? shaman? intuitive? psychic? healer? That’s what people called me, (and many still do). Anyway I was kinda trying to figure that out.
And meanwhile, people FOUND me. I mean, it was “marketing by God” all the way. I was like one of those old wise women living atop a mountain in a cave, and people *mysteriously* found their way to me.
One of those people was a guy I’ll call James. James showed up on the doorstep of my hut, acting a bit crazy. He was a tall striking looking robust bald guy with bright blue eyes. He didn’t look like he “belonged” at Harbin because he was wearing a really nice watch, and had the air of old money. (Hey, I was raised around people of means, so I somehow know the vibe.)
James was wide eyed, wild eyed, and obviously had been crying. He looked exhausted, strung out. And I admit I was asking myself – is this guy high? Is he nutball crazy? Is he safe?
But I could feel my guidance giggling inside me. Yes. He is safe. Yes. He is meant to be here. Let him in.
James poured out a story that was all too familiar. He had always been a respected businessman. He had always been that smart guy who had it all together. Suddenly, a few weeks ago, he accidentally got REALLY psychic. And for the past few weeks, he’d been unable to sleep. He felt hounded by the Spirit world. He was hearing everyone’s dead talking to him – all the time. He could see what was coming in the future, and then it was proving true.
Of course, he was amazed by all this. At some level he felt grateful to access all this insight, these mysteries.
But right now, his body was freaking out.
He was worried he was losing his mind.
He hadn’t slept.
And there was no one in his “normal life” he could talk to about this.
I led James down to my creekside “office” – a simple wood deck with a futon on it, 5 feet from the pool with the two waterfalls – one warm from the hot springs, one cold from the creek (yes, I am serious. the place was incredible)
I guided James to follow his breath, and I gave him an energy clearing. In my mind’s eye, I could see that his dimensional layers had opened – allowing him to see through many dimensions at once. I could also see that many energies had intruded through this new opening, and some of them were not “in the highest good.” Some were bugging him. Some were tormenting him. And because he didn’t know how to invite in only the good stuff (he was not a religious or faith-filled guy previously), he was overwhelmed with “visitors” who were troublesome, in addition to the good guys.
So our first step – I guided James (and highly encouraged him) to set his intention for the Highest Good. (This was last week’s Genius Experiment, BTW) And he did. As soon as he set his compass to connect only with what is in the Highest Good, a lot of energies buzzed off. And I could easily sort and remove the troublemakers from his field.
Secondly, I introduced James to the concept of Spirit Guides. Again, this guy was anti-religious. Passionately so. He was a high-end professional in his world. He was an extremely wealthy guy from a ridiculously wealthy family. And he wasn’t into woo…. Except now, the Woo was into HIM!
After explaining that Spirit Guides are really just symbols for bigger energies of love and support that we can’t otherwise understand with our little brains, he started to open to the idea. But it still wasn’t clear to him – I wasn’t asking him to “worship” them. I was inviting them to HELP him.
Oh wait. Invisible Butler.
A butler was a role James could understand. “Oh yes,” he said, “A butler is someone who controls who can contact me, who can reach me. A butler protects me from contacts that want to use me or drain me. A butler watches out for me, quietly, in the background. A butler is like an executive assistant and personal assistant and almost a parent – all at once.”
PERFECT.
“James, you need to set an Invisible Butler,” I said.
So he imagined one. And named him. And then imagined this Invisible Butler like a giant angel, like a powerful guide who could manage the other spirit guides. His Butler became his go-to invisible support. He could keep out the bad spirits. He could test the good ones to make sure they were good. He could keep everyone out so that James could SLEEP. He could help James body to integrate all these big new abilities. He could help James set boundaries. He could advise James.
And James could choose, with his Butler’s advise, what to do.
“Because,” I told James, “our guides are not here to be worshipped and bowed to. Their advice is just that – advice. And we are the ones who choose. We are the ones in this body, in this life, who must do the choosing. Our Invisible Team is like our board of directors, ready to advise, but not to be treated as an authority over our own living loving selves.”
He got it.
And he still points to that day as a turning point.
Actually, he has said on many occasions that he felt that advice “saved his life.” He was already on such an edge.
That night, after receiving his Invisible Butler, he slept a full night for the first time in WEEKS. And he used his new supported boundary skills to become one of the most gifted talented psychics I’ve ever known. And by far the most lucrative. He charged $50K per session at one point, and was able to reach global elite peeps who are not usually getting access to channeled info. He made a difference for them. He felt comfortable with them, so they could open up to him. (Yes, there are many very wealthy folk who must pay $50,000 for something in order to value it.) And James gave all that money away (what did he need with more money?) building wells in under-developed countries.
So, I’m inviting you now to set your own Invisible Butler.
It is this week’s experiment in my free Genius Experiment group on Facebook.
In fact, this whole month in Genius Experiment, we are talking about how to leverage your Spirit Guides for success in biz and life.
And if you want me to help you like I helped James, just reach out to me mellissa@ mellissaseaman.com.
I’m here to help you bridge the worlds.
Power Hungry Professionals Going Woo
Are You Power Hungry? I am.
As a lawyer I was power hungry.
And as an intuitive I’ve been power hungry.
And I’m still power hungry.
I hope you are too.
The key question… What kind of power are you hungry for?
Wouldn’t it be great if the kind-hearted people, the creative geniuses, and the leaders of integrity had the POWER?
Which power?
Political power – the ability to change the rules.
Economic power – the ability to funnel the resources.
Personal power – the embodied energy that makes you a leader.
AND
The Highest Power – alignment with Soul, with Evolution, with Big Power.
This one might necessitate going kinda Woo.
See, in the old schools of power, we’ve relegated the highest powers of all – the power of miracles, the power of direct co-creation with the Creator, the direct tapping of intentional power when it’s aligned with the highest good – we’ve relegated all of these to either religious or silly.
Oops.
Well, times they are a-changin.
And more and more professional folks who hold POWER of this world, are becoming re-devoted to the wisdom of our own hearts – that knows that the Highest Power is a Mystery that we reach across the veil to touch. And this calls for faith, surrender, prayer… and a BIG love.
Yay!
I’ve got substantial proof. See, I get to work with these folks.
So many professional people who have acquired big power, reputation, and acclaim in the worldly intellectual stuff are now awakening to a growing longing to connect spiritually.
Why?
Because they just KNOW that connecting spiritually will allow them to leverage the power they already have in this world to do not just “things” but the things that MATTER most.
- They feel a deeper Calling than ever.
- They are awakening intuitively (even if they don’t want to)
- They are becoming more empathic (even though that’s uncomfortable)
and
- they are looking for support that’s not too woo, even though it’s actually quite woo. They need to stay grounded, even in spiritual power. Good!
Somehow, cause I went to Stanford, cause I’m a former lawyer, I’m seen as a safe guide in this.
It’s a big honor.
I love it.
But I can feel there are some of these folks looking for me, and they can’t find me.
Will you help?
* Do you know some professional folk who are wrestling with a big intuitive awakening right now?
* Know someone who has always been kinda Type-A but now is being kept up at night by their inner voice that is becoming LOUD?
* Who do you know who is considering leaving the “mainstream” position of power they’ve always held in order to step into a new (scary) chapter where they dare to be a bit more woo?
Introduce us.
And I’ll give you both my personal attention, my support, my guidance. No charge.
Ya see – It’s my soul’s gift to aid and abet professionals who are waking up to their soul’s calling.
I provide a clear revealing of their soul purpose. I can read their life purpose. I can facilitate profound and permanent clearing of the blocks and fears. And I can design a business plan for and with them that is a perfect fit to make them happy and fulfill their soul’s calling all at once. Seriously.
I do it cause I care about the state of this world. And we need those leaders in their soul’s work – NOW. It’s time.
Email me at mellissa@box5439.temp.domains, and put your friend’s email in the to or cc field, and then tell me why you feel that person should get some free attention from me. Brag about them. Let them know you care about supporting them in what can sometimes be a scary shift. Let them know you want them to feel supported in following their soul’s calling. (everyone needs encouragement to take the next step.) And then let’s make it happen. 🙂
How To Meet Your Spirit Guides
Want to Meet Your Spirit Guides?
Dude, It’s as Easy as 1-2-3
Even a Stanford-educated former lawyer like myself can get into connecting with Spirit Guides when I realize just how well it WORKS! Here are some benefits to connecting with your Spirit Guides, as I see it…
* It’s like having an invisible team you don’t have to pay, who work 24/7 for the rest of your life – for YOU!
* It’s a non-religious yet deeply spiritual thing that exists in almost every wisdom tradition, and even fits alongside of many traditional religions (call em Angels, Saints, Genii if you’d like)
* It makes it easier to talk to God if you imagine different personalities with different specialties – cause the human brain is limited, People!
* When you put your Guides to work on something, it’s running in the background while you can work on other stuff.
* Surrendering to a higher power is a fantastic stress-reliever.
* You get parking spaces a lot easier. Test this. It works.
* It’s a sneaky way of getting yourself to “pray” – that is, to connect directly to Spirit/Creator and have a conversation!
Anyway, engaging with Spirit Guides is also just fun.
3 Most Important Tips about Spirit Guides
So I’m going to share the 3 most important tips I think you need to know to connect directly with your Spirit Guides without making it hard or boring. 😉
1. Invisible Friends – Remember when you were a kid, and you had invisible friends you played with? Do that. Imagine your Guide, as a benevolent wise friend. And talk to your Guide. And imagine what your Guide would say. That’s it. Don’t make this hard. Just do it.
2. The Good Guys – As you imagine/connect with your Guides, set your powerful intention to ONLY connect with the Good Guys- that is, the energies that are in alignment with the Highest Good. That way, you don’t have to worry about calling in energies that are troublemakers. It’s like when you throw a party – you invite who you WANT to talk to. You don’t just throw open the front door to the world and yell “Free Booze!”
3. You’re the Boss – Your Spirit Guides are wise, powerful, and have a big vision view. That’s cool. But because YOU’re the one in the body, making the choices, you get to have the final word. So ask their advice, listen to it, and then do what your intellect and intuition agree you should do. Don’t use Guides as a cop-out. Don’t give your responsibility away. That said, your Spirit Guides’ ability to help you is limited only by your limiting beliefs. So set your intention, call them in, and put them to work!
Want me to give you some specific training and exercises to do to connect with your Guides – all without charging you any cash? Okeedokie.
Join my Genius Experiment group here today, and it’s my gift to you.
Then check out Experiments 8, 9, 10 & 11… and you’ll have yourself a full on fun experiential training with me! Whee!
Don’t forget to join the Genius Experiments group right now – at no charge. Enjoy!
Mellissa is an awesome spiritual creative superpower!
I call her a Conduit of Creativity.
She has a unique and almost mystifying way of channeling your purpose, your gift and your niche and explaining how they work together in synchronicity.
She makes sense of spirituality (so you can make a profit with it).
I highly recommend working with her.
- Christine Whitmarsh,
CEO & Founder, Christine Ink
